Bear attack tip: If attacked, play dead.
It will be good practice for when you die a few minutes later.
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In every relationship there is one person who stacks the dishwasher like a
Scandinavian architect, and one who stacks it like a racoon on crystal meth.
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Being abducted by aliens might just be the vacation I need at this point.
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Women are pushed to marry early because they know the older
they get, the more they learn about men and the less likely
they are to actually want one.
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I hear that ponytails are coming back into vogue.
Unfortunately, they are now being worn by men.


Justin Johnson is a great musician. If it’s got strings he can make it sound so good.