[SB Bill (Hinesburg SBs) joins the humor brigade by forwarding these quips from The Guardian. SB SM]
Gay sheep and gaslighting: 10 of the funniest jokes from the Edinburgh fringe 2024.
Enjoy a good one-liner? Here are some of the best rib-ticklers from the annual comedy extravaganza
Mon 12 Aug 2024
Olaf Falafel: My desire to spontaneously sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight is always just a whim away.
Jack Skipper: I failed RE. Couldn’t believe it when I found out. I was like: “Oh Jason Christ!”
Zoë Coombs Marr: My girlfriend told me she’s never seen the film Gaslight. I told her: “Yeah you have … we watched it together.”
Eleanor Morton: How do you know that Edinburgh is the most haunted city in the UK? You measure it with a spirit level.
Amy Mason: I recently read 10% of sheep are gay – turns out there’s nowt so queer as flock.
Raul Kohli: My aunty is Indian, German and a terrible human being. She’s the curry wurst.
Louise Atkinson: I call myself the Yorkshire Shakira; her hips don’t lie, and mine don’t faff about.
Abby Wambaugh: Cabinets: what are they hiding? Tables: are they really furniture – or just more floor on stilts?
Demi Adejuyigbe: I don’t like when a casino says: “House rules.” It got a little boring for me in the last season.
Chris Turner: The Romans invented Vaseline. Or was it Ancient Grease?
SB Ross (North of the Border SBs) Sends Some Newfie Jokes
Recently, during a routine patrol, an RCMP patrolman parked down the
street outside a Legion Hall just off the TCH in Gander NF .After last call, the officer observed a man leaving the Legion Hall. The
gentleman was so intoxicated that he could barely walk. He then stumbled
around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly
observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five
different vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into.He sat there for a few minutes and then threw a hook and line out the
window and seemed to be trying to catch a fish.. A number of other
patrons paid no attention to this crazy drunk as they left the bar and
drove off.Finally, he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a
fine, dry summer night) flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of
times, honked the horn, and switched on the headlights.He then pulled in the hook and line and moved the vehicle forward a few
inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes
as some more of the other patron vehicles left. At last, the parking lot
was empty; he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly
down the road.The officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the
patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man
over. He performed a breathalyzer test on the gentleman who cooperated
fully, and to his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of
the man having consumed any alcohol at all!Dumbfounded, the officer said, ‘I’ll have to ask you to accompany me to
Headquarters. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.”
“I doubt it,” said the truly proud Newfie, “Tonight I’m the designated decoy.”