Best of the ‘Gest …‘Masterdating’

To quote Mel Brooks from Blazing Saddles “Work-work-work-work … work-work-work-work.” SB Sandy and I are currently in Turin (Torino), Italy where we are scouring the surrounding vineyards for new Silverbacks. We found this one, Silverback Nebbiano, in a local caffee at aperitivo time. Work-work-work-work … work-work-work-work. Back in early November. SB SM]

[I’ve always been a man ahead of his time. This time I seem to have been roughly six decades too early. In our epic musical Old Rockers: The Musical Journey of Grendel, the character of Del writes his first song, No Remorse, about a love-em-then-leave-em kinda guy who callously leaves spurned, broken-hearted girls in his wake. His songwriter/partner Greg advises him to “stay within yourself” is his next creative venture. Del takes the advice quite literally in song #2 and comes up with I Think I’m in Love … about the pleasures and pitfalls of self-pleasurement. The song becomes a musical footnote until a generation later when, in a totally different environment attitudinally and technologically, it becomes a sensation. Here’s a scrambled version:

Third time’s a charm.

“Masterdating” is the latest term to describe what young Del was expressing back in the mid-1960s with “I Think I’m in Love.” It’s trending on TikTok. SB SM]

Holistic dating coach Amy Nobile says practicing self-love on a regular basis can aid in finding true love with a romantic partner. Getty Images

By Asia Grace

New York Post August 23, 2023

Singles in the city are self-pleasuring out in public. On any given night, you’re likely to spot a giddy guy or gal at a trendy restaurant, bar, museum or even a fully packed park, single-handedly going at it alone“It” meaning a solo date, of course. Get your mind out of the gutter. “Masterdating,” the latest love and relationship trend to take social media by storm, is the practice of lavishing oneself with choice gifts, treats and outings in an effort to establish a healthy sense of self-sufficiency before entering a serious relationship with someone else. 

“Taking yourself out on dates is an exercise in self-love and self-compassion,” Amy Nobile, a holistic dating coach in the West Village, told The Post. “You’re teaching yourself about your own needs, requirements, the things that bring you joy,” she added. “It’s about uncovering your own passions.  

Masterdating trend is going viral on TikTok.
Singles in New York City and beyond are taking themselves on special dates as part of the TikTok-viral #MasterDating trend.

As a relationship expert in the city, whose assistance with landing a soul mate in the city comes with a price tag of over $10,000, Nobile says flying solo can be just as exciting as being taken out by a handsome charmer or a smiley siren. 

“Make a whole day of it,” urged the expert, who suggests “masterdating” at least once a week. “Send yourself flowers in the morning, send yourself a sweet note saying, ‘I can’t wait to see you tonight,’ schedule a fancy mode of transportation to get yourself to the date — make it a full day of love.”Online, the cheeky buzzword, which rings an eerie likeness to the word “masturbating,” has millennials and Gen Zs in a chokehold. 

A woman enjoying popcorn alone at the movies.
Online, “masterdaters” proudly brag about the kind and loving ways they treat themselves.

In fact, beneath the trending hashtag #MasterDating, with more than 1.6 million TikTok views, hopeless romantics are living happily ever after by wining and dining themselves. And social media fans of “masterdating” have seemingly elected Miley Cyrus’ hit “Flowers” — a 2023 self-love anthem the pop singer sassily dropped on ex Liam Hemsworth’s birthday last January — its unofficial chant, using the viral ditty as featured audio in posts dedicated to the trend. Serial self-suitor Valerie Chapman — an NYU grad based in Manhattan who’s admittedly taken herself on more than 100 solo dates since age 15 — touted the trend as “the highest form of mediation” in a TikTok testimonial. “Go somewhere … by yourself, say ‘Table for one,’” the 23-year-old tastemaker instructed her more than 42,000 fans. “You’re gonna walk in with your shoulders rolled back, order whatever you want, eat whatever dish you want, drink whatever you want … go crazy,” she continued before revealing the lone-rendezvous cardinal rule. 

“No phones. Would you want your date to be on the phone [while they’re out] with you?” questioned Chapman. “No. So don’t do it to yourself.”And singletons aren’t the only ones enjoying a partnerless tryst. Kyle, a married medium from Australia who’s been hitched to his husband for nearly two decades, says he “masterdates” all the time. “For me … it’s being your own cheerleader, best friend, supporter. It is true self-love,” said Kyle in a post. “You’re not gonna pine and wait [for] a person to do this or that … F–k waiting. Give it to yourself.”

And Nobile agrees. “Don’t worry about feeling self-conscious or lonely about taking yourself out on dates,” she urged to The Post. “You’re a good time. You deserve to be treated well. Go enjoy being with yourself.”

And she says a shameless “masterdate” could result in a hot date with Mr. or Mrs. Right. “While you’re out enjoying yourself, your vibration rises — and the highest vibration is love,” said Nobile. “When you’re loving yourself, you become a magnet that attracts love from others.”

Old Rockers

The Musical Journey of Grendel You can view it all here:

10 thoughts on “Best of the ‘Gest …‘Masterdating’

  1. Well this is one way to market Old Rockers.
    How else are you ahead of your time? Maybe see me feel me touch you heal me ratatouille.

    1. “While the other boys are sharing the wealth,
      I call up and make a date with myself.”

      “My Dad said,”‘Son, listen to me,
      you’ll be rejected by society.
      Your Ma and I are going out of our minds,
      we didn’t raise our our son to go blind.'”

      Too bad we never got a complete recording of this song. It has what we in show business call “legs.”

  2. Definitley a matter of balance – loving oneself and others.
    My Dad and Mom ,rarely, until all the 5 kids had grown , would go anywhere fun just by themselves…who had the time or money? Even with a baby and little money we did – sometimes asking for babysitting to which my Dad would reply: “Oh, you’re going somplace selfish?”

    1. Definitely insensitive it was directed to you, Babs, but this is a song lyric written almost 50 years, and is joke playing off what was, even then, an old wives’ tale.

      1. I like baseball. I think you do, as well. There’s a nifty rule – three strikes and you’re out. Silverback Digest has used up (more than) three stikes. Making fun of the blind- you pointed out they would be called outcasts. You wrote “Definitely insensitive it was directed to you, Babs.” You think the females of SB Digest should be in a harem. So I’m unfollowing the Digest. FYI my ophthalmology medical claims are $11,000 a MONTH. I have had 6 surgeries with 2 more planned. Going blind should not be fodder for your jokes. Good luck moving forward into the future.

  3. Thanks Step but it doesn’t matter if it was an “old joke.” There are plenty of “old jokes” about Polish people or black people or Puerto Ricans or [insert ethnic minority or marginalized group of your choosing]. Those old jokes all need to be retired and remain in the past. Same for the Blindboy Boathouse moniker.

    1. Bad typo in my comment. It should have been “Definitely insensitive IF it was directed at you.” But it wasn’t, and I think there should be a statute of limitations on 50 year old song lyrics.

      As for “harem,” it is the correct anthropological term for a species, such as gorillas, whose social organization is based on a single adult male, multiple adult females, and their offspring. In most cases, males reaching sexual maturity are forced to leave the tribe (or, in the case of gorillas “troop.”).

      Human cultures are all over the map when it comes to social organization, and it’s not surprising that there are different interpretations when it comes to a word like harem. I don’t know what yours is, but I’m confident that my use of it in reference to gorillas is correct. In any case no offense was intended.

      1. Thanks SB SM. So, a group of Gorillas is called a Whoop.

        We discussed that last month IIRC.

        The question is how literally do you choose to be about your Whoop of Gorillas? Gorillas cavort buck nekkid but I don’t see the SB Digest as a nudist colony. It seems like cherry-picking to insist on Harem when Atkinson’s Whoop terminology has made its way into academic writing (please see my first comment about Whoop, which I can’t find now.) Thanks again.

      2. The comment thread was from July 17, Bonobo J Ties the Knot:

        “Where did the term “whoop of gorillas” come from?

        Reportedly, the term whoop of gorillas came from the show “Not the Nine O’Clock News”. It originated in the famous “Gerald the Gorilla” skit with Rowan Atkinson in a gorilla suit.

        The incredible thing is that this expression is now appearing in scientific books and papers. From a made up expression in a skit with Mr. Bean. Really.”

        Now, however, if Bonobo J is a Bonobo rather than a Gorilla, we’re talking an entirely different kettle of fish.. Erm, crate of bananas. Just funnin with you. 🍌 🍌

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