SB Jerry’s 5-inch Baculum Bone

Best of the ‘Gest

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Silverback Jerry of the Quaker SBs responded to my birthday posting with this. (PS– If you are ever at SB Jerry’s house and he offers you a cocktail, ask instead if he has any beer SB SM)

SB Jerry’s 5-inch baculum bone

“I hesitated to send this important piece of information before simply because I am not sure I want to be known for this kind of knowledge.  Your birthday message prompted it because I think there are some things you should know about your species. 

The picture is of a baculum, or penile bone which is found in many placental animals.  Mine came from a grizzly bear I shot in Alaska, and before anyone gets too excited

all the meat was used.  I had several meals from it (along side meat from a black bear which tasted identical since they all eat the same thing in the same area) with the rest being donated to the Athabaskan Indians on whose land I was hunting with the outfitter who pays $100 a day for anyone she (yes, a woman, whose husband and son work for her) takes there. 

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Walrus Baculum

They have been great friends of the Athabaskans ever since they homesteaded in the area 45 years ago, living without electricity or any utilities for 36 years until the state ran lines out into their region.  In any case, baculum are found in walrus, bears, and great apes among others.  They have not been thought to be part of the human anatomy for as long as there is a record of humans.  Why?  The best guess is that mating in humans takes so little time the extra support isn’t needed. 

(Editor’s note: WHA-A-A-A-A-T?)

Aha! Now, you see why your message about mating with all the Silverbelles in your harem inspired me to send this on!  From your interest in 1950’s rock ‘n roll, your months-long beer journey tasting all the malt you could, and so on, you are clearly a throwback, yet not such a throwback that you predate the species. 

By the way, I use the grizzly baculum as a swizzle stick, something my harem-mate Sue suggested after I killed the bear.  It is a great conversation stopper – as I hand a mixed drink to someone and they ask what kind of swizzle it is or where I got it, and I answer … just as they get the drink to his/her mouth. The resulting expression is priceless.  If you want your own, you can go to Moscow.  Actually, that would be Moscow Hide and Fur in Moscow, Idaho or  where you can buy an extra large penile bone for $35. The average size is $9.95, and a beaver baculum can be had for only $2.25, which is appropriate as it is only 1.25″ long.  You can also get them on Amazon and eBay, but it’s more fun to go to Moscow!

Enough of the anatomy lesson, just thought you should know since you seemed to be bragging about your prowess with the Silverbelles.  Use this or don’t in any way you see fit, feel free to add or delete after you check things out by Googling baculum.  Stay well, and Happy Birthday again!  

(Editor’s note: I checked, and Silverbacks do indeed have baculum bones. SB Jerry is a retired banker whose greatest hunting exploit is that he once shot the huge, plaster moose outside of the flagship LL Bean store in Freeport, Maine.)

2 thoughts on “SB Jerry’s 5-inch Baculum Bone

  1. Leave it to my brother Jerry, ever the individual with his own distinct sense of humor, to bring back a 5″ inch baculum bone from a grizzly hunt instead of a huge hide to mount on a wall!

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