[Silverback Al has been featured in Silverback Digest several times, usually for his unique solutions to challenging building projects. In this instance he reports on his solution to a malfunctioning ceiling fan. SB SM]
“Our ceiling fan went K-put. It helps to circulate air from the wood stove, so we needed to get a new one. Problem: it is 18 1/2 feet from the floor. No ladder that tall, so I borrowed some construction scaffolding. Took some time to set up, but the safe way to service the fan.
“Hire someone? Nope, too expensive. DIY projects are king. Better than putting jigsaw puzzles together at the rest home.
Now “Bruce” the moose can get groomed also.
“Took the old fan apart, not fixable. Ordered a new fan with a sexy light and will put it up soon.
Now Silverbelle Vance is excited to clean the painting, boat, etc she could not reach before. We can also dance together on the “top floor”. Your buddy, Silverback Al
[Editor’s Note: After all this trouble, I hope you dance naked. SB SM]
SB Al’s report provoked the following response:
Al–
I can’t tell you how impressed I am at this accomplishment. But then, supposedly I’m a writer, so I can try.
I’m really, really, really, really impressed at what you’ve done here, i.e. removing a ceiling fan. As always, when in the shadow of another’s human accomplishment, one asks oneself “What if? … What if my ceiling fan didn’t work? What if I lived in an old cape with 18 1/2 foot ceilings? What if I was as cheap as you? What if I was married to a woman like Silverbelle Vance who will accept nothing less than utter domination of a challenge like this? The options that immediately spring to mind are:
1. Find a different woman. The Jungle is full of them.
2. Move to another state, hopefully one with no houses built before 1954.
3. Call Silverback Al.
4. Go back into my office and turn this into another daily post on Silverback Digest.
The bar has been set pretty low when it comes to me providing solutions to household challenges. (It is literally true that she once called in an electrician rather than to have me change a lightbulb.) No, Silverbelle Sandy would put her staff on the job. The excavators will lower the house so that no scaffolding is required, and Elon Musk would be pulled from the DOGE team to develop technology to handle this pressing national emergency. The situation will have been corrected a week ago, and there would be no sign that any work had taken place.
That’s how we do things around here. SB SM