Insults

Tonight is SB C. Jane’s launch party for Spirit Traffic: A Mother’s Journey of Self-Discovery and Letting Go. I doubt I can attend, but we’ll review this book in the near future. (Sneak peek … I liked this book a lot.) If you find yourself within striking range of Burlington, VT, stop in and raise a glass with SB C. Jane. Here’s a description of the event: Join us as ArtsRiot is converted into a Motorcycle Clubhouse for the night. Everyone is invited to enjoy an adventure book reading followed by audience members sharing their own stories in a Moth-style story hour on the theme “Adventure as I See It.”

WHS3 on his ’49 Panhead 1977

ArtsRiot is a “go-to venue for art you can see, hear and taste. Bar & restaurant open at 6 pm, 400 Pine St. Burlington.

C. Jane’s book is published by SB Bill Schubart. You’ve met him before:

Parties are different these days. They used to be about witty verbalisms and formal, performed jokes. These days … well, we don’t what parties are like these days. They’ve fallen victim to stricter drinking and driving laws, political correctness, and advancing years. Interestingly, C. Jane posted this list of insults recently on Facebook. They would have come in very handily at a cocktail party circa 1936. PS– note the preponderance of old, snarky, white guys on this list. SB SM]

“He had delusions of adequacy ” Walter Kerr
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. – Clarence Darrow
Poor Hemingway, he has never been known to use a word that might send one to a dictionary. William Faulkner
“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain
“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde
“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.” -George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.” – Winston Churchill, in response
“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here” – Stephen Bishop
“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright
“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb
“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up. – Paul Keating

And a few more to ponder:

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” – Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I’m afraid this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx

The exchange between Winston Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison.” He said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” – Abraham Lincoln

“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.” — Jack E. Leonard

“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.” — Thomas Brackett Reed

“He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.” — James Reston (about Richard Nixon) —Robert L Truesdell

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