[Sorry about the lateness of today’s post. Silverback Ross, North of the Border SBs, tells there that there’s been confusion at the border due due to the new tariff imposed by Selectman Trump. Seems that people are having difficulty defining what’s funny these days. SB SM]
From Silverbelle Jan, as posted on Facebook:
Granny’s Funnies and Sarcastic
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They Walk Among Us!
I was at the checkout at Walmart, minding my own business, when the cashier rang up my total: $46.64. I handed her a crisp $50 bill. She looked me dead in the eye, gave me back $46.64, and continued scanning items like a professional.
Me: “Uh… I think there’s a mistake.”
Her: huffing dramatically “Sir, I am educated. I know what I’m doing.”
She pushed the money back at me like I was trying to scam her.
So, I did what any reasonable person would do—I gave it back.
She, once again, pushed it right back at me with extra attitude.
I shrugged, picked up my bags, and walked out with $46.64 in my pocket. 
They Walk Among Us…
I walked into Starbucks with a “Buy-One-Get-One-Free” coupon for a Grande Latte. The barista studied it like it was the Declaration of Independence, then turned to a chalkboard that read “Buy One, Get One Free.”
Her eyes lit up. “Oh! So that means… they’re both free!”
She happily handed me two free lattes.
I didn’t argue. I just walked out, sipping my victory. 
They Walk Among Us…
One day, I was strolling along the beach with some friends when one of them gasped dramatically, pointed ahead, and yelled:
“Look! A dead bird!”
Another friend immediately looked up at the sky and asked, “Where?”
I just… I had no words. 
They Walk Among Us…
My brother was house hunting and asked the real estate agent which direction was north. He explained that he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning.
The agent furrowed her brow. “Wait… does the sun rise in the north?”
My brother, thinking she was joking, laughed.
She was not joking.
He gently explained that the sun rises in the east… and, you know, has been doing that for quite a while now.
She shook her head and said, “Oh, I don’t keep up with all that stuff.”
I… I had to walk away.
They Walk Among Us…
Back when I worked in a 24/7 call center, a guy called and asked:
“What hours are you open?”
Me: “Sir, we’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.”
Him: “Okay, but is that Eastern or Pacific time?”
I stared at my screen for a solid 10 seconds before replying:
“Uh… Pacific.”
He thanked me and hung up, probably feeling proud of himself.
They Walk Among Us…
My sister has one of those emergency seatbelt cutters in her car—designed to save her life if she ever gets trapped.
She keeps it in the trunk.
They Walk Among Us…
My friends and I went to buy beer for a party. The store had a 10% discount on cases. Since we were professionals, we grabbed two cases.
The cashier did some quick mental math.
“Oh, two cases? That’s 10% + 10%… so you get 20% off!”
We all nodded and quietly accepted our new financial advisor.
They Walk Among Us…
At the airport, I couldn’t find my luggage, so I went to the lost baggage counter.
Me: “My bags never showed up.”
The lady smiled reassuringly. “Don’t worry, sir! I’m a trained professional. Now… has your plane landed yet?”
I blinked.
Me: “Nope, we’re still circling the airport. The pilot told us we’re third in line to land.”
Her: “Oh! Okay, well, come back after you land.”
…Sure thing, genius.
They Walk Among Us…
While working at a pizza place, I watched a man order a small pizza to-go.
Cook: “Would you like that cut into four or six slices?”
The man thought long and hard before replying:
“Better make it four. I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat six.”
Bless their hearts. 
They Walk Among Us…
These aren’t exactly puns, but they have a similar effect.
I think my wife is putting glue on my firearms. She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
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Due to the high cost of facials, many women have found a cost saving method they can use at home. They are opening the dishwasher mid-cycle and sticking their head inside for
as long as they can stand it. They then splash some Jet-Dry rinse agent on their faces
to close up the pores to get that glossy look.
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Being in debt attracts a lot of interest from bankers.
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Last week my boyfriend was assaulted in his own home.
Turns out my husband doesn’t like him.
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To make a long story short,……… I became an editor.
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Four more years of looking at my phone every morning to see if he’s dead yet.
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My neighbour couldn’t afford his water bill, so I got him a get well soon card.
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Please cancel my subscription to your issues.
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I went to the paint store to get thinner………..It didn’t work.
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My therapist said I have trouble expressing emotion. Can’t say I’m surprised.
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I got booted from the coffee club because I wore a tea shirt.